Confession and Burnt Lavender

Confession and Burnt Lavender

There has been something I’ve been keeping to myself for more than thirteen years. I have never told anyone this. When I was first diagnosed, it was (justifiably!) a real shock, although I knew since I was young that I was sick. I dealt with the diagnosis and tried my best to adapt to the current symptoms and limitations, while preparing for my future with MS. At some point (within months of the diagnosis), I started thinking that I was diagnosed wrong and I actually didn’t have it. I’m not sure why I was in denial, because it was such a huge relief to finally know what has been medically wrong with me since I was a kid.  I think these new cognitive symptoms are affecting me so much because it’s making it really hard to deny having this cruddy disease.  Although you would think having to deal with debilitating fatigue and pain would be enough to fully accept the diagnosis. I’m sure the denial was just a way to protect myself, and to be honest, it has been fairly effective!  I guess now it feels like this disease is becoming more of a disability.  That is one thing I have never said I’ve had is a disability.  Kinda silly since it has affected every aspect of my life and taken away so much (my dream career that I went to university for four years for, being medically released from the Army, sometimes significant limitations to just pushing my body through the day, etc.)  I never really thought that MS would cause cognitive issues.  I’m trying my best to handle them though.  As usual, I’ve been using humour whenever possible, even poking fun of my new symptoms.  Some of the words that come out of my mouth that were supposed to be something else can be quite entertaining.  It of course bothers me to hear the wrong word, but I try to turn it around into an amusing situation.  I must admit, it is helping me.  I’m making adjustments at work to deal with the mental blunders and the oral gaffes that typically accompany them.  However, the way these new issues have interfered with my work is one of the biggest problems I’m working on right now.  Staying strong though!

It’s kinda weird that my mind is fluffy but my cats aren’t!  Fortunately, they are insanely adorable, no matter what they’re doing.  Pose for the camera, little Abby:

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And I absolutely love the finishing face:

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Something rather sad happened this weekend.  I took someone up for an aerobatic flight, and was shocked at the amount of traffic near the airport.  I didn’t realize that the Lavender Festival was going on, which takes place just down the road.  It was neat to watch hundreds of vehicles heading in and out of the lavender farm, with a huge field covered in straw for a parking lot.  This probably wasn’t the best idea in the heat, as one of the cars started a grass fire.  It spread very fast, completely destroying over 30 cars.  Mike and I had to fly all the way to Welland last night for a meeting (about a nine minute flight).  Before we headed south, we flew over the lavender farm.  Quite a few of the burnt out cars were still in the field:

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Yikes!  Fortunately no one was hurt.  I’m sure the insurance companies are busy!

Mike snapped a few other pics on the way, including this cool looking greenhouse roof:

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And this cute, little boat in the canal:

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The meeting was great.  As usual, we had a wonderful turnout.  Also, I took up one of our Recreational Aircraft Association members for aerobatics, which everyone down below got to enjoy watching.

Today’s symptoms: I can’t believe how good I felt today energy-wise.  It had to be one of the best days I’ve had in months if not years.  All I had to deal with was a bad headache and the joyous MS Hug.  The Hug lasted about 25 minutes, so that wasn’t too bad.  I love how it’s called a hug, which makes it sound rather pleasant!  Unfortunately, it feels like sharp, stabbing and constricting pain around the torso.  Good times!  Hehe!

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